I don't know how to deal relationship with my parents

To be honest, my parents’ lives have been going downhill for some time I don’t realize. Just think about it, I still could remember they’re strong and powerful in my childhood. And then they took me to school, yet I could see them every night. But I really don’t know when their illness shows, when they feel sick or even worse. I have no idea.

Then I go to the secondary school, there is almost no time for my parents. And when I found my family status is not as good as my classmates, I turned to complain to them, although from now on my opinion, it’s not all their faults, I can’t understand too much deep of the whole thing. So I decide not to deal with my family problems, like an asshole, not to take much time with my family. That’s why the best excuse to escape from family is to go to the library, with the enough money, and it’s all JUST FOR THE STUDY!

High school life is still like that. The communication between my family and me is decreasing more and more. And when they want to communicate with me every time, they receive me speechless, because I don’t know how to cross the gap between us, it’s too big… And what I replied is always that, “Oh. oh. oh. I see. I see. I can handle this, I don’t need you”.

And today, it’s still holiday, I choose to live back at school, maybe it’s a better choice because the house is kind of noisy, my dad’s ear is not good and I don’t want to bother him. Sounds really weird, right?

I don’t know how to handle the relationship with my parents, especially since I’m going to work in Xi’an in the second half of this year. So the time with them before the New Year is really less. Should I go back home now instead of going to school? I don’t know how to deal with this choice.

I am afraid to face the special scene, let us assume it. As we know, life is only sustainable if there is hope for the future.

And our parents are like food, and now they’re going bad very slowly, without a sound, just like what happened in my childhood, and the worst thing is that, you can’t take them back, back to youth, back to your childhood. And the disease is dementia, just like The Father. Their normal life is only sustainable if they need someone’s help around them. And they’re be trapped. If you don’t do something, their life could only get worse ….

Ok, I can no longer accept this. Last year I wrote an article about Work Life Balance, and now it seems like make no sense to me. I’m confused. Maybe I should really take time with them, even if I only help with small business at home, which takes up my time instead of learning yet.

It really sucks, but this is the fucking reality.

I wish they could be healthy forever. Best wishes to them. God bless them.

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